For the record, I have never been in a situation where I needed an upstream party to resolve a dispute with a reseller. So I don’t know exactly how all of this works.
But I wonder if you have ever gone through this too. Are you speaking from experience or assumption here?
But I am more optimistic about this than you are. Yes, if you go to ICANN directly, they will tell you to go to the registrar first and try to resolve it with them. Registrars are quite powerful and quite well trusted, and ICANN isn’t going to throw them under the bus due to a sketchy reseller or a misunderstanding.
And I don’t expect that you can just send them an email and have the EPP code sent to you within a day. Dispute resolutions can take a long time, because ICANN and the registrar both don’t want to go behind the backs of their own customers if they can help it. And the consequence may be that you’re stuck with the registrar for a bit longer than you would like to, and may have to renew your domain with them while the procedures are ongoing.
Again, report them to the registrar or ICANN. Registrars have the obligation to keep your domain active, and can only take it down if you do something illegal. Stealing your domain name because you refuse to pay their extortion fees is a violation on their part.
But again, having the right and being able to exercise it are not the same. The reseller still has power of you, even if they are wrong, and are technically able to take down their domain, even if they don’t have the right to. And screaming that they are wrong will probably not change their mind.
Simple: don’t let your domain expire with the assumption that you will be able to re-register it. Backorder auctions are common and perfectly legal. If you want to keep your domain, make sure you don’t let it expire.